Sunday, September 15, 2013

My Life is Great, and I Wanted to End it



It's the overeating: The ice cream, the cookies, and how the corner store owner knows my name from late-night binges. Ok, it's not the overeating, not really. It's what the overeating means: Career depression's dark tendrils have slithered into everything.


For example, parts of my identity that I've always held dear like my athleticism? Time for some shitty cookies, because I need a sugar high tonight.


I read tech news and had the pleasure of working with some of the biggest names you'll find in all the valley news rags. I've got partners at top-tier VC firms I count as close friends. I really don't have much to show for it, professionally, other than a few almost successes. 


You know what? When you have a strong peer group, you can't help but measure yourself against it. In a high variance, low median industry like the startup world, great people will inevitably fail. A lot. 


That probably means you. It definitely means me, at least the failing part. 


If you're reading this and wondering if you are a failure for not being in the top 100 wealthiest people in Silicon Valley, just remember that even (relatively) tiny San Francisco has 800k people, which means making the top 100 means being in the 0.0125%.


You are probably very smart, hard working, and a good person. I need to remind myself of it from time to time.